What Drives Us, and What Sustains Us

Part 2 of the 'Working Selves' Series

“When we are doing something because it is intrinsically interesting or personally important, we are far more likely to be engaged, resilient, and fulfilled.” — Edward Deci

There comes a point in many careers—especially in high-intensity or mission-driven work—when the original fuel begins to run low. What once felt essential starts to feel distant. Sometimes, we choose to step back. Other times, the decision is made for us.

Whether it is burnout, layoffs, or life upheavals, losing your role—voluntarily or not—can leave behind a confusing silence. What now? Who are we without the work that once defined us?

This isn’t necessarily a crisis. Often, it marks the start of a deeper reckoning—a reorientation not just of what we do, but why we do it. Reconnecting with motivation after a loss means tuning in to what still matters, even when the structure of a job no longer holds it all together.

When the title fades, the core question becomes:

What sustains me—even when the role is gone?

When Familiar Motivation Begins to Fade

In both purpose-driven and profit-oriented roles, motivation often starts with clarity: a sense of urgency, innovation, impact, or growth. But over time—or when organisations change, funding disappears, or recognition slows—that clarity can fracture.

The work might still exist, but the inner why feels thinner.

For many in humanitarian, educational, or advocacy work, this is compounded by systems fatigue: burnout, bureaucracy, moral injury. When external validation drops away, or when internal values shift, we are left asking:

What am I still doing this for?

And who am I if I no longer feel driven by what once lit me up?

Motivation Is a Constellation

 Psychologists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, in Self-Determination Theory, argue that sustainable motivation is not driven by pressure, fear, or duty. It emerges when three core psychological needs are met:

•  Autonomy – the freedom to choose how we act and what we pursue

• Competence – the feeling of being effective, capable, and progressing

• Relatedness – the sense of belonging and meaningful connection

When these needs are satisfied, motivation becomes intrinsic—driven by genuine interest, purpose, and alignment. But when they're neglected, even high-achievers burn out.

Even with work I care about deeply, I have learned that motivation isn’t a single constant flame. It’s more like a constellation: different stars lighting up at different times. To keep that constellation alive, I have had to take intentional breaks—not to disconnect from purpose, but to reconnect with other parts of myself. Interests, ideas, forgotten joys, new curiosities.

Sometimes I have found my way back through things that didn’t look strategic at all—like helping a friend with a creative project, joining a community group, or just allowing myself to rest. These weren’t detours. They were ways of remembering myself.

Other psychological frameworks echo this idea of motivation as layered and relational:

Albert Bandura showed that motivation depends on self-efficacy—our belief that our actions make a difference. If we’re repeatedly disempowered, that belief dims.

Clayton Alderfer’s ERG Theory reveals that we can feel an existential fatigue not only when survival needs are unmet, but when our growth or emotional connection is neglected.

Daniel Kahneman reminds us that our minds crave narrative coherence. When our identity no longer fits a clear narrative, we panic—not because we’re broken, but because we are used to being legible.

Slowing down and allowing uncertainty is a necessary part of forming a new narrative. But it requires discomfort, patience, and presence.

What Comes After “I Don’t Know Anymore”?

In Job Therapy, psychologist Tessa West describes the fog that follows identity loss:

“What should my new identity be when I don’t know what the possibilities are?”

This is not just about updating your résumé. It is about rebuilding motivation from the inside out—with

Self-Determination Theory as your map.

• Autonomy: What choices do I now have that I didn’t before?

• Competence: What strengths do I want to keep growing?

• Relatedness: Where can I reconnect—professionally or personally—in ways that feel nourishing?

Carl Rogers described this moment as one of potential congruence, when our outer lives begin to align with our inner truths. It is often uncomfortable, even painful, but it is also a critical threshold for growth.

Karen Horney noted that many of us live by an idealised version of ourselves shaped by social validation. Letting go of that image—especially if it has been professionally rewarded—can feel risky. But it’s often the doorway to a more internally guided life.

Victor Vroom’s Expectancy Theory adds another dimension: when we lose faith that our effort will lead to meaningful outcomes, our motivation collapses. falters. Rebuilding that link—one small win at a time—can help renew our sense of purpose.

Meaning Moves: When Purpose Feels Different

Motivation doesn’t always return in the form of a five-year plan. Sometimes it returns in much smaller, more human ways:

• A surprising burst of curiosity

• A creative urge

• A connection that doesn’t feel performative

• A day where you don’t miss what you thought you would

This is what psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi described as flow: full engagement in the present, without fixation on outcome.

In Emergent Strategy, Adrienne Maree Brown reminds us:

“Small is good. Small is all.”

Growth doesn’t always need to be grand. Often, identity expands through small, consistent choices that feel aligned.

In Japanese philosophy, ikigai isn’t about chasing legacy or titles. It’s a subtler compass—a quiet reason to get up in the morning that doesn’t require applause.

As neuroscientist Ken Mogi puts it in The Little Book of Ikigai, sometimes meaning is just “the joy of little things”—a warm drink, a real conversation, a moment of stillness.

 And as Pema Chödrön writes:

“We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart.”

In career transitions, meaning often returns not as clarity—but as the ability to sit with not knowing.

 

From Goals to Alignment

Herminia Ibarra, in Working Identity, reminds us that new purpose rarely emerges from introspection alone. Instead, it often comes from doing—from trying on new versions of ourselves, what psychologists Markus and Nurius call “possible selves.”

Rather than waiting for clarity to act, Ibarra suggests we act in order to find clarity. That might look like volunteering in a new field, joining cross-sector conversations, or following a thread of curiosity—even if it doesn’t seem strategic at first.

It’s through these “draft versions” of identity that we begin to notice what still feels alive.

Practising possible selves doesn’t require reinvention — just gentle exploration. These selves aren’t defined by titles, but by felt experiences. You can begin to live into them through small, real-world experiments such as:

• Saying yes to a role or task outside your usual patterns — whether it’s helping plan a community event or trying something you’ve never done before

• Shadowing or spending time with someone who lives in a way that sparks curiosity in you

• Participating in a gathering where you don’t need to explain who you are through your job

• Re-engaging with creative forms you haven’t allowed yourself to explore — cooking, dancing, journaling, photography, performance

• Hosting or attending a conversation circle, book club, or shared ritual that opens a different version of your voice

• Introducing yourself differently — not as a job title, but by the energies you want to grow (e.g., "I’m rebuilding," "I’m learning slowness," "I’m following joy")

• Letting your environment reflect the self you’re growing into — even something as simple as rearranging your space or dressing for how you want to feel

For me, volunteering has been a kind of identity laboratory—a space to explore, experiment, and re-engage without the pressure of a defined role. Whether I’m volunteering at a film or music festival, or in a youth camp, a shelter, these experiences help me tune into the version of myself I’m growing into.

Not through ambition. Not through goals. But through alignment—small, honest steps that feel true, even when the destination is unclear- or simply does not matter.

Motivation Outside the Market

Not all value needs recognition. And not all motivation is born in professional spaces. In fact, many people find their most honest expressions of identity in places that aren’t tied to performance, productivity, or professional validation.

These “off-market” moments are often where motivation reawakens—not as pressure, but as quiet alignment.

Consider:

• Volunteering in ways that foster connection without overextension

• Creative expression that nourishes

• Informal knowledge-sharing through mentoring, storytelling, or peer support

• Connection to nature, spirituality, or community in grounded ways

I have seen this shift in many former colleagues—humanitarian leaders, start-up founders, educators—who have found fresh meaning in community work, somatic coaching, creative ventures, or just slowing down. These weren’t résumé updates. They were motivation rediscovered.

Because sometimes what drives us isn’t out there. It’s closer in. It’s what feels genuinely life-giving, even when no one is watching.

As ikigai philosophy reminds us, meaning doesn't have to be big or public. Sometimes it’s enough for it to be real—and yours.

💬 Reflective Prompts: Reconnect with What Drives You

·       Autonomy: Where do I feel most free to choose how I show up?

·       Competence: What have I gotten better at lately that actually excites me?

·       Relatedness: Who helps me feel seen, supported, or connected?

·       Meaning: What kind of contribution still feels valuable—even without a title?

·       Energy: What activities leave me feeling more alive, not just accomplished?

·       Direction: What do I want to follow—not for strategy, but because it feels like mine?

📚 Further Reading

·       Edward Deci & Richard Ryan – Self-Determination Theory

·       Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi – Flow

·       Daniel Kahneman – Thinking, Fast and Slow

·       Herminia Ibarra – Working Identity

·       Adrienne Maree Brown – Emergent Strategy

·       Pema Chödrön – When Things Fall Apart

·       Albert Bandura – Self-efficacy Theory

·       Clayton Alderfer – ERG Theory

·       Ken Mogi - The Little Book of Ikigai